yuhuuuu
i am here blogginggg !
today was a very good day for me !
its snowinnngggg !
i love snowwww :D
except for the super-cold weather ):
anyway
today was a quite good day for me :D
cos today i realise that
there is no homework at all !
lawl
i was sooo happy to find out that there is no homeworks today xDD
and today i also realise 1 thing that has been blocking my road to success: computer
this is a good computer indeed,
but it has been preventing me to focus on my real life .
instead, i am being too focused to the world inside this computer .
i have to change change change !
for the better of me !
:D
gogogogo nic
u can do it !
and i dont know why
lately i really like to do the cleaning .
when i clean something i feel refreshed
hahahahhahaha
and i am soon gonna clean my room !
lalallaa ~
so happyyyyy ~
and tomorrow is the last day of school !
weekends kuai lai ba ~
i really need my good sleeppp ~~
cos i have not been having a good, quality sleep lately .
so i should get myself 1 during the weekends ~
:D
kk im off to clean my room .
c u all in the next post ! :D

im back blogginggg !
cos i have nothing really meaningful to do (at least its better than ironing my shirts xD)
anyway
i am here to write some news about my life
i will be dancing for the christmas celebration on 15th of november !
but i still dont know what to do .
as i dont have any picture of what we are going to really do .
anyway
i have been feeling lonely without my gf these days ):
i really miss her .
but i cant do anything much
cos we have broke up .
its a pity
cos i believe that our relationship actually have a bright future .
but i dont know how to say it .
i just cant continue with her .
aghhhhhhhhh
i really miss u
T___________T
but i have to b strong in this kind of situation .
cos i am actually being trained this way .
damn
its hard to do this .
i feel like crying at times .
but i cant
i have to learn to be joyful in even i am in not a situation to do so .

anyway .
i dont know if u will read this .
but 1 thing that i want to tell u through this :
i am really sorry for i have not been a good boyfriend for u .
and i rarely (or even never) say i love u to u .
but 1 thing i want u to know :
i never meant to break ur heart .
through all the things that we have been through,
i realise that i actually love u .
but i really cant be with u for some reasons .
please forgive me .
and i am sure that u will definitely find another man that's more worthy of u .
not such a coward like me .

i love u .

nic .

i dont know myself .
who am i ?
what do i actually want ?
i dont know the reason to those things .

yoooooo
i am back blogginggg !
the first day of my busy weekend has just past .
it was a fun and super tiring day tho D:
but i am happy todayy
cos i managed to be closer to God today :D
i am soo damned happy
hahahahha

anyway
i believe that tomorrow is gonna be an even more fun day .
and i have started my diet today ! :D
i hope i will have the determination to do some physical exercise tomorrow :D
i must be slimmer in like
1 month time ?
i dont even know if it is possible, but i will not know unless i take my very first step to do it .

okayy
anyway i have no more energy to both think and write anything .
so i will stop here :D
c u alll
(if there's any reading this)

nite
nic .

im back bloggingggg ppl !
(it feels as if im talking to no one tho xDD)
anywayy
i am here to update a few things that have happenned in my life :D
i will be busy this weekend .
i'll accompany budi ( my tong zuo ) tomorrow .
we will be going to xidan to give someone a maths tuition !
imagine me being a teacher .
LOL
and i will be having 'doa semalam ceria' with my church friends .
i wonder how it will be
cos it will be my first time going to attend 'doa semalam ceria'
its gonna be praising, and worshipping God, which will be followed by praying together .
i guess it will be a fun, yet tiring day tomorrow .
but i have to keep the fire burning yaw !
never say die ! >:D

and then, on saturday, i will be going to some event held by permit, an inonesian-only organization created by the indonesian embassy (i guess?)
its gonna be from 10 am to 3 pm .
and my church friends are going to perform !
and yes, i will be there to give them my support of course :D

and then, the following sunday,
i will be on duty as usher for the second time !
its good being an usher, tho i made a few minor mistakes during my first time serving the church as an usher last two weeks .
i have to make up for the minor mistakes that i did last two weeks .

i am really surprised to find that my schedule is getting busy .
but i am also happy at the same time .
cos i am going to experience many new things !
i am very excited :D

i really wanted to learn,
how does this world works .
and how does an organization works .
and how does various things takes place .
and when the time come,
i will make a summary of all the things that i have learnt
and use those list of summary to make my very own organization .
where i will be the leader
cos to be a good leader, and a good example to everyone, including someone older than me is my dream .
and i have to work hard to obtain it .
and i know i can do it cos God is strengthening me .

anyway .
my gf has made it to the top 10 in her class .
and not only that, she is also in the top 40 for the whole level in her school .
i am so proud of her :D
i wonder what should do to celebrate this . .
maybe by having a bottle of beer ? =p
nah i cant drink that anymore
cos i am very fat right now
and drinking beer will only make things worse .
anyway
im starting my diet from tomorrow !
i have to be slimmer !

and i have been thinking .
i am actually losing myself
i dont know why
but somehow
i realized that
the me now is not the me i used to be
i am not comfortable with the me now
cos the way i am now is way too sux
i was actually able to gain enough determination to do every responsibility that has been given to me
but what am i right now ?
just a rubbish
who can just eat, sleep, play, and wasting my parent's money .
what does actually happenning to me ?
why am i losing myself ?
i really wish to get out of this situation .
i hate the me now .
the me now is nothing more than just a mere pig .
i gotta change !

nic .

:D
morning worlddddddddddddddddd !
i have been wanting to blog since two days ago
but i couldnt manage to find a time to do it .
but nowww !
i am blogging !
hahahahhaha
i am here to update about my life, of course .
and a few things that i have been thinking these days .
hmm
my life so far is good good .
except im getting more n more bored as each day pass .
and i realize that
my english is getting sux !
omg
i gotta find a way to improve it .
and i was having my mid-semester examination yesterday .
and it was good :D
n today
im gonna have the last of examination
finally
some of the weight on my shoulder will be gone :D

as for the things that i have been thinking these days . .
i have been thinking that
i am actually becoming more n more fat !
n more ignorant as well
which is not good at all .
i gotta find a way to reduce my weight
and not being ignorant .
and i have found the roots of all my problems : laziness .
and this laziness is caused by :
eating too much
not enough sleep
and playing computer-logging in to facebook for a long time .
soo
i have to solve these 3 problems in short time .
the shorter the better .
cos i dont wanna look like a pig in front of my gf .
i will embarrass her if i walk with her with my current looks .
hahaha
anyway
i dont think im gonna meet her for this 1 year .
cos our schedule doesnt seems to 'bentrok' .
hahahhahaha .
(indonesian only =p)

okayyy
now i have to go to have my exam !
i am determined to do well this time !
c u all on the next post :D
(if there's any reading this blog)

nic

hiiiiiiiiii
im in the mood to update my blog !
hahahahhaha
i dont know why
i have been thinking a lot a lot a lot !
and i have just realised
that the me now is sooo damned sux !
i have grown more lazy
more ignorant
especially towards my appearance and studies
omg
this is so not good .
i gotta change for the better asap !

cos its not good to keep on going like this .
cos in order for me to get what i want
it wont do any good if i keep going in my current state
i must change !

and i have been thinking
what keeps me determined to achieve my goal all these time ?
and i came into one conclusion :
jealousy and lust .
i have been wanting to be like another person .
yes or even better than anyone else .
cos it just ticks me off whenever i see someone better than me .
i am jealous of them .
i want to be as good as them .
cos i have not been doing much significance on my own .

i want to be richer than any of my friends .
i want to be better looking than any of my friends .
i want to be smarter than any of my friends .
i want to have more skills than my friends .
and the list can go on till the next morning .

and i lust for more n more things .
thats why i am not satisfied with everything that i did until today .
and that also explain why i am still determined to achievve my goal, even until today .

but in the bible, it taught us not to be jealous of other, and we must not lust of anything in this world .
so i have no idea of what should i do
cos what have been pushing me to be determined is lust and jealousy .
lust + jealousy = determination to achieve my goals .

i wonder..
wish God will give me an answer to my doubts .
cos i have been doubting too many things .

its very hard to make those things gone away from me .
cos i have been too used to it .
my rock-hard will not to lose to any of my friends .
and my lust to have a lot of money .
its really hard to put my ambition below God's purpose in me .
and i have been struggling to do it .
but still, i cant do it today .
maybe tommorow ?
next month ?
next year ?
next decade ?
i dont know
but i know 1 thing for sure
nothing is impossible when God is with u !
so keep the fire burning yaww !

kk
i gotta stop here .
i am starting a 11 o'clock-must-sleep with my gf .
so i should sleep exactly at 11 o' clock
and so is she . xD
its a good way to actually train us to manage our own time .
and of course for healthier body and mind ! :D
okay im gonna stop right here .
sooo
c u all on the next post !
nite :D

nic .